Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Perfectionist Trap

Nap time yesterday was one of times when it's amazing to me how God orchestrates my day to teach me something. I absolutely love seeing things happen, like he is speaking right to me. And thankfully I stopped to listen.

I had finished my homework from my Fruit of the Spirit Bible study and was just opening another study I am working through as I heard Halle begin to stir. Nap time was over. I paused with my breath held, willing her to go quiet once again, and she did (God move #1). Then I moved into today's lesson, where the words came off the page and might as well have been God's audible voice to me (God move #2).

I have been neck deep in studying lately my role as a wife, on my small scale, and my role as servant of God, the large scale or grand scheme, if you will.  I struggle with wanting to 'be something great' in a sort of undefined, vague sense and yet living a somewhat 'simple' life. My view is evolving, but some days it's difficult to see that my life truly is great.  I haven't missed out on the great thing by choosing to walk God's plan for me. From the pages of my lesson jumped this sentence: "To live for the greatness of God is to live a great life." (Beth Moore)

Let me expound a little... I am one of those people who grew up with {Potential} hanging over her head. (I am NOT saying that all children don't have potential!) I've lived with the nagging feeling that something big must be around the next corner, because this certainly can't be it... Can it?! Today's lesson was like a splash of cold water to my system! Beth went on to say "What if we awakened to how pitifully small and unworthy a goal personal greatness is? We were meant for so much more. Everyone of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things because we do God things."

I have lived under a dark cloud of perfectionism and seeking personal greatness, by the world's standards, for too long! It's time to experience some freedom- and the amazing thing is that it comes from the posture of a servant, bowing low to the ground before God and others. Mark 10:43-44 says "Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all." So what am I living for?


  1. Oh, my sweet Mandy! As one of the ones who hung Potential over your head - I am so glad to see you stepping into it! As we wait for Jenny's baby to arrive, I am taken back to the day of my babies arrivals & I can tell you: you were a bundle of Potential from the moment you first appeared! You have blessed so many lives & I have waited to see you know what God had placed in you & you know your Mama is not a patient woman - but just like my garden, seeds were planted, you are watering them with your study & devotion to the word & Godly living & He is producing an abundant crop! Hallelujah! Love you, little one!

  2. I think I'm speechless. I am in awe of your spiritual growth. Truly.

  3. Thank you so much for sharing. I have struggled with the same things throughout my life, and just last night, I was talking to my husband about that feeling in the pit of your stomach...just wanting to be part of something big. But it is true that when God is the center, He gets to be big!! not us. Thanks so much!

  4. What could be bigger than being a mom? I struggle with the same things you listed. I've had the conversations with my husband and the inner fights with myself. But when it is all said and done I keep going back to the fact that if I fail as a parent (fail in the sense of NOT giving my all or my best), then my life amounts to nothing. Our kids are our BIG POTENTIAL, they are our masterpieces, they are our joys. How blessed we are to have them to remind us of the beauty and holiness in the simple everyday things.
    Thank you for your post. Blessings to you and yours!!!

  5. What a beautiful much insight that i am so happy you share with us. It makes us stop and think!
    Women definately have the tendency to want to be supermom and God's view of supermom is very different from the world's view. It is doing "small things with great love." right? I had to put that on my business card to remind myself daily:)
    He only sees our intentions and the amount of love we put into doing his will.
    thanks again Mandy!

  6. This is so true!! I definitely struggle with that feeling but I know deep down that more than anything, I want to bring God glory, not myself. Thanks for this@

  7. beautiful post mandy. it's so easy for "me" to become the focus. and life is just stinky when that happens! to God be the glory for great things He has done and will do!

  8. Very wonderful reminder to us all. Especially as Moms, we need to be examples to our children to not always focus on being number one. It can be so hard to do, but you were used as an instrument to remind us all. Thanks for sharing!


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