More Questions than Answers...

"O Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

for with the Lord is unfailing love

and with him is full redemption."

Psalm 130:7

Sunday Pastor Steve defined for us the word redemption: 'The act of saving something from corruption, and restoring it to a better condition'. What would our community look like if we were able to become this to the world around us? If we were able to offer a place for others to experience God's saving?

Philip Yancey said "The people of God are not merely to mark time, waiting for God to step in and set right all that is wrong. Rather, they are to model the new heaven and new earth, and by so doing awaken longings for what God will someday bring to pass". I love this thought... I think often we, as Jesus-followers, forget that we are not just saying a prayer and getting our figurative golden ticket into heaven. I believe that when He taught us to pray 'on earth as it is in heaven' He was instructing us that we are to live that here. To be that here to a world around us that desperately needs to see that another world is possible.

The Church (speaking of the big 'C' Church here, the Church worldwide) is to be a place where the broken, the poor, the lonely, the addicted, the abused can come to experience God's recovery. The very definition of redemption speaks to the fact that you cannot enter into God's redemption and not be changed. If one is not being restored, emerging in a better condition, then they are not experiencing the fullness of His redeeming. God's love is unfailing and perfect, and while it remains unchanging in its form, for us it is the very catalyst for change!!

What if I worked harder at allowing Him to use me to be a change agent? What if I chose to love the unlovable, of which I am the worst? Pastor Steve told a story about another pastor who took the often-used phrase 'Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin' and turned it on its head by saying 'Shouldn't we just Love the Sinner?'. Isn't this such powerful truth? Jesus-followers spend so much time hating sin that we become just that~ haters... Jesus calls us to love.

Even thinking about the verse in Luke 6,  'For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.' (verse 45) I'm asking myself this morning if I spend so much time speaking hatred, not necessarily even towards people, but in general, doesn't this speak volumes as to the condition of my heart? My words need to be the outflow in direct reaction to God's redeeming love towards me, and then I can affect the world around me with His redeeming love for others.

So some deep thoughts for this rainy Tuesday morning... where are you at this week?

Reaching

I've got to tell you friends, I'm struggling. I don't speak the words very often, but I deal with depression. Something about saying it bothers me, but it's just in my makeup. The cool thing is that my God is bigger than this dark cloud that sneaks up.

For me the weight begins to fall on my shoulders when things are good. I know this must sound contradictory, but for me it's doubt that creeps in. Right now life is pretty great. I have carefully considered and said 'Yes' to Him in so many things that my plate and my heart are full. 'Yes' to my family. 'Yes' to Hearts at Home. 'Yes' to Thirty-One. 'Yes' to being a room parent in Remy's class. 'Yes' to leading worship. 'Yes' to a missions trip to Africa. God has been gracious, and opportunity abounds at this point. But then it's in the quiet moments that the voice in my head speaks louder and says 'You can't do this'. 'You are not enough to handle all this.' 'You cannot manage your time to get this done.' And I start to believe it.

So what's a girl to do? As I was preparing for worship last week, I was practicing a song called 'As We Reach'. I think I've even mentioned it here before, but the words talk about reaching for the hem of His garment in faith for healing. I opened my Bible to the story in Mark 5 about the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years (12, can you imagine?!). She heard about Jesus and through the crowd went to him and believed that He could heal her, even if she could just touch the hem of his robe. Jesus felt the healing leave Him, called out and went to the woman. Because of her faith she was healed.

I found myself this week crying out to God, and this story spoke to me. I think because through the fog of voices, I was reaching out to Him, believing that He is the only source of healing. And at those times when I wonder why it's important to memorize scripture, I am reminded of days like these. I was rocking on my bed in the dark, crying, just begging that somehow the voices would stop. And I began to speak the truths that I know about God. I spoke of His character. I know that attributes of God and can say with confidence the way He feels about me. These words that try to weave doubt into my soul may at times sound to me like His voice, but I know the way He loves me. I know who He says I am. And I know the love He has for me. When those things don't match up, I can say without a doubt that this darkness isn't from Him. And my soul is comforted.

So that's where I'm beginning this week. I don't mean to start on such a low, but truly it's not. It's about the Hope that I have... knowing that He will remain unchanged as the One who loves me beyond my wildest dreams. And He loves you this way, sweet things!! I pray that you will walk in that Hope today!

the little things

Some Monday mornings are tougher than others... 

These are the things that get me by:

This sweet smirk

Belly laughs with a girlfriend

Finding sweet notes from my boy~ He's learned to make hearts at school, and they just melt mine!

Dancing Queen

Poses with pumpkins

So what are your little things??

New Things Abound!

I'm super excited to tell y'all that I've been brewing something behind these scenes for quite some time. You know if you've been around here for a while that mommas are heavy on my heart, and Hearts at Home is an organization that I love. Not just love in a 'went to the conference and it was good' kind of way, though I did and it was... Love, like I am so inspired by their ministry toward strengthening moms and building up families kind of way.

Shortly after I attended my first conference last March I knew that I wanted to be involved more. So I began to pray. I contacted them and have been in touch since the spring, just committed to praying about ways that I might be able to work with them. And now things are becoming clearer. These girls, Jill Savage and the team of Spirit-led women that she has on staff, are amazing! I am thrilled that I'm going to be able to be on their volunteer staff going forward. I am going to be working with the Marketing team in a few different capacities. For one I will be the Social Media Coordinator, a part of the army behind the Hearts Facebook and twitter feeds. So hop on over and say hello, even 'like' us if you can! I will also be involved in Hearts blogging, including the Blog Hop that I have been connecting with over the summer. I would love for y'all to join in~ I'll let you know when it gets back up and going!

The other part of what I will be doing is coordinating the Go-To Girls, which is pretty much a sweet name for mommas all over the country who are as excited as I am about what Hearts is doing and want to go out and tell everyone about it. These are the girls that get 'insider' info about the conferences, upcoming projects, etc. This is a pretty new area, and I'm excited to see what develops!

I am feeling very blessed that things are working out as they are... God's timing has been evident for me as I've been sorting through all the 'should I' and 'could I' thoughts.  Now I'm leaping in with both feet because I feel Him directing that way~ Ready to make a splash!!

I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend! We are having our first service of baptisms at our church, and we are baptizing 5 adults~ I cannot even begin to type how excited I am!! God is so good!

Exalted

For Thou, O Lord, art high above all the earth. Thou art exalted far above all Gods. I exalt Thee.

I always get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach before leading worship... some assume that I'm nervous to be singing in front of people, but it's not that at all. I get to lead others in worshipping a holy God. It's outrageous, isn't it?! I feel such a huge weight of responsibility and am so humbled that He allows me this.  Every time I sing I get teary eyed just thinking about the enormity of this 'job'. I have been in some places that I have been caught up in the emotionalism of a moment... when it feels good for me. And while those moments may have felt good at that instant, looking back I have extreme sadness for what I missed. Perspective.

Our new church is called the encounter. And we take worship seriously... but not in a 'you have to do it our way' kind of serious, but rather in that we don't want people to just get caught up in a moment... in some kind of sensational experience. Our prayer every time we meet is that someone might come to see God. That we would interact with Him. That we would come to see His character.

The song 'I Exalt Thee' is one that literally brings me to my knees when I practice. Do you know why we tell things to God that He already knows? We sing 'I exalt Thee'. He doesn't need us to worship.  In fact, Scripture says that if we don't, the stones will (Luke 19:40)... but it's all about perspective. We lift Him up because we are created to do this. And in my acknowledging His Height, His Majesty, my perspective aligns and my focus becomes right. I must become less. So tell Him. Acknowledge Him for who He is~ a compassionate God who loves us in spite of ourselves. We were made for this~ to praise Him.

The unfailing love of God.

We're teaching a new song as a worship band on Sunday, and I've been practicing non-stop. The line 'Your love never fails' has been echoing in my mind... it's amazing, isn't it?! And Romans tells us that nothing can separate us from His love. That's pretty big.  I fail. I let people down. Even the ones in my life that I care about most deeply... my love fails where my humanity begins. But His perfect, unending love picks up right where mine ends. Only this remains.

I'm thanking him as we head into another packed weekend. The littles are crazy excited because we're going to Chuck E. Cheese tonight. Trace and I are not so excited, but we're both glad that it was incentive enough to finish up the potty-training! Then the littles are having a sleepover together in Halle's room. I am loving these days when they still like to hang together... I'm sure someday I will look back and wonder what happened. It can all change in a second, can't it?!

Saturday I'm planning on making a giant pot of Taco Soup and eating until I pop. Okay, not really, but soup really is my most favorite thing on a long list of things that I love about fall. This cooler weather is so amazing!!

And Sunday marks the fall kickoff of all the ministries at our church, most notably Veritas, the youth ministry. We will be kicking off in style with Yuck Night, which is exactly as it sounds~ a night full of all things messy and vomit-inducing. Eating challenges like 'Happy Meal Milkshake', in which an entire Happy Meal including the drink was put into my blender (yeah, I wasn't so happy about that last time...), mixed and then drank/chewed by a couple of willing teenage boys. This is not for the faint of heart or stomach, friends, but the students love it. Would love y'all to pray with us that there is a huge turnout and that these young people see Jesus amidst the chaos.

So what do y'all have planned for the weekend? I'm desperately trying to get back into a blogging rhythm now that Halle has started school and we're finding a schedule.. We'll see you next week!

Lovely Monday

Happy Monday, sweet things! I hope y'all are having a great extended weekend! Our days have been full of bunches of friends who are family, and as I publish this morning, Trace is making his famous french toast for a bunch of folks at church. He learned his recipe and technique from the one and only PeeWee Herman (I'm totally not kidding!!), and it's the best ever! This week is also a big one because this little Peach starts preschool tomorrow and dance on Wednesday. Big days ahead!!

I've been thinking, praying, dreaming a lot lately about the church actually being the Church. And the cool thing is that I've been seeing it happen. Living out the words of Jesus like He meant what he said... seeing friends, old and new, be doers of the word. We are living in an exciting time! For years I've read the words in Acts 2 about the followers of 'The Way' living in community. They shared with, cared for, and loved on each other, and I feel like we're seeing some of that come alive in our local community. God is so good!

I just want y'all to hear that and hopefully be encouraged. I know that many of you pray for my family and the goings-on here in our little piece of the world, and I cannot thank you enough. I love being able to share with you that He is indeed living and active and working. Y'all are such a part of this work~ we get to share in kingdom stuff, sweet friends! So happy Monday~ Praying mounds of blessings for each of you as you go about your day!

Two Roads

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 


I woke up this morning with this poem echoing in my mind. I have thought of it often, and I still even recite it with distinct breaths and breaks pounded into my eighth grade brain by Mr. Elderidge. Two roads. And while for me this poem now means something different, when faced with choices of any kind I picture these two paths. In my adult life I have always taken the less traveled. The path of Jesus. No crossroads in this journey has been without risk, though I haven't looked back.


This morning I am facing a new kind of fork in this road. Neither path means choosing less of Jesus and more of anything. Just differences that can accompany a journey when taking a new road. I think of the leaves freshly covering the two paths, and I search for prints left by Jesus, and at this moment I'm certain He has left his mark for me to follow either way. Life has a way of twisting and turning, and sometimes I really think either path can be the one. There are so many good things... My difficulty lies in discerning at this moment, for this time, which is His best for me and which is His 'not right now'. Does that make sense?


I'm thinking as I type that this is sounding way more dark than it is... just wondering how y'all hear God's voice. Do you have a certain Bible verse you go to when making a decision?  Do you lock yourself in your 'prayer closet' for hours? (Now I'm really drawing on my southern roots for that analogy!) Robert Frost truly isn't who I consult for making decisions, just love this poem and the pictures it paints. I am actually feeling quite giddy with excitement at the plans He has for me. (Remember yesterday?) He has always been so gracious to allow this girl so much room to be inspired, teach others, and grow along the way... can't wait to see what's next!